Evaluating your relationship with alcohol can be both exciting and overwhelming. Most people start this journey by educating themselves about the process: reading quit lit, listening to all the podcasts, and following all the sober influencers on social media.

Gathering this information can be simultaneously helpful and confusing. You start to get a sense of how good it’s going to feel to be done with alcohol and now you’ve uncovered a lot of inspiration, suggestions, and advice to help you get there!
But how do you figure out where to start? Which of these suggestions is going to be right for you? How do you find the stamina to keep going when it feels tough? 

If you’re feeling ready to look at your relationship with alcohol, a recovery coach is a great option. Let’s talk about what a good coach can do for you and your recovery, 

“Been there. Done that”

Most recovery coaches are, first and foremost, people in recovery themselves. There is something powerful about talking to someone who has done the work and gotten sober. While no two people are the same (and no two recovery journeys are the same), a good coach will help you explore options for recovery and figure out what tools and strategies are right for you. 

Objective, non-judgmental presence

Have you ever felt like you just couldn’t say some things out loud? Perhaps you’re working through things that are intertwined with shame or self-loathing. Working with a coach gives you a space to say whatever you need to say. Blacked out and got in the car with a stranger? Tell your coach. Used to drive with the kids in the car after one (or three) too many? Your coach will listen and understand.. Took a few shots before a big presentation at work? Your coach will hold space for it. A good coach allows you to speak your truth without being judged. In my own life I’ve found this to be incredibly healing. Speaking your truth in a safe space goes a long way toward removing some of that shame and self-loathing. 

Life Help

Having someone to help you figure out what you can realistically expect on your journey is life-changing.  It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that once you quit drinking everything is going to be rainbows and butterflies. That’s not usually the case. Most often there are some messes to clean up. Bills that need to be paid. Mail that needs to be opened. Teeth that need a dentist. Talking with someone who can help to normalize the frustration and reassure you about the timeline is helpful. On top of validating you, coaches can help you to sift through the crap, figure out what you can control so you can let go of the rest, and, most importantly, collaborate with you on a plan to move forward.

Accountability

Most of us figure out pretty quickly that there are some specific things we can do to help us on the road to sobriety. Whether you decide you need to slow down, meditate, move your body, hydrate, eat protein, or a million other healthy practices. All too often, however, enthusiasm wanes and, before we can feel the benefits of not drinking, we lose momentum and stop doing the things that we know will help us stay sober. This is why it’s important to set up accountability for yourself. You may be the kind of person who can create a plan and stick to it without outside influence but I find that most of us need some help. A coach serves as an accountability partner, helping you to not only determine what will move the needle but also holding you accountable (in a good way) to your commitments, and helping you celebrate your wins.

Once you know you want to work with a coach, how do you find the right one? 

Know your options

There are a lot of sobriety coaches out there. A search for the hashtags #sobrietycoach or #recoverycoach on Instagram will bring up hundreds of posts. Sift through those and find a few whose vibe matches yours. Think about posting in a recovery-based Facebook group to see if anyone has used a coach they would recommend. Ask your therapist if they know anyone who might be a good fit. Check out some of the coaching organization websites for listings (e.g.

Interview potential coaches

Many coaches offer a free discovery call to answer questions and get a sense of who they are. Take advantage of this! Schedule with a couple of coaches and see whose personality and approach to recovery feel like a good fit. Prepare a list of questions for them. Some things to ask might include: How long have they been coaching? How long have they been sober? How do they approach recovery? Do they have a specific framework or philosophy? What is the structure of their program? (i.e. how many sessions? What kind of access do you have to them between sessions?) What is their philosophy on handling slips? Don’t be afraid to ask tough questions.

Evaluate your options