Dear Late to the Party,

First of all, congratulations. Four years is a big deal. That’s four years of showing up for yourself, of choosing honesty over numbing, and of quietly building a life rooted in integrity. That kind of work deserves to be honored, and I love that you’re ready to celebrate it in a way that feels true to you.

I get what you’re saying. So much of early sobriety is tangled in shame. Shame for the drinking, and sometimes even shame for quitting. We’re told not to make a big deal of it, to move on quietly, to stop talking about the past. But you’ve moved past that. You’re proud and you should be! This isn’t just a milestone, it’s a transformation. You deserve any kind of celebration you like.

So how do you celebrate a sober anniversary when traditional ways don’t resonate? Here’s what I know for sure: Celebration doesn’t have to be loud to be meaningful. It can be sacred. Quiet. Personal. Embodied. Here are a few soulful ideas:

Write yourself a letter.

Tell yourself the truth about what you’ve walked through. Remind yourself what the old days felt like. Name what has changed. Give thanks to the version of you that kept going. You can read this letter every year on your anniversary, or you can burn it in a little ritual and write a new one each time.

Make something with your hands.

Creation is a form of celebration. Activities like art, baking, gardening, pottery, and woodworking give you a chance to get to know yourself better while creating something to mark the occasion. You could even start a tradition: one handmade object for each sober year. A talisman of transformation.

Go somewhere your soul feels free.

Go on a hike or a solo overnight. Visit to a body of water or a place from your childhood. Let your body remember how good it feels to be fully present, fully alive.

Gather with those who understand.

Even if it’s just one or two people, your “inner circle,” invite them to witness this moment. Ask them to share what they’ve seen change in you. (It’s deeply moving to be seen through others’ eyes.)

Host a story-sharing circle.

Gather folks you trust and create space for vulnerability. It doesn’t have to be about sobriety specifically. You could read a poem, light a candle, or each name something you’ve overcome. Let your story be one thread in the tapestry.

Celebrate with a sober community.

You don’t need to join AA to share your story. There are many beautiful sober circles, both virtual and in-person, where your four years will be met with genuine joy. You don’t have to stay forever. Just come for the applause. You are welcome to come share in my community.

No matter how you choose to celebrate, please don’t skip the part where you pause, reflect, and feel the significance of what you’ve done.

Quiet or loud, messy or neat, your sobriety is a triumph.

With love and so much celebration,

Coach Heather