The first time I tried an alcohol-free beer, I was pregnant with my first child. I wasn’t yet a “sober person.” I was just abstaining during my pregnancy, because…that’s what you do! Since it was 2012, the beer was an O’Doul’s. I can’t say this became my new favorite thing, but it did (sort of) fill the desire for the hoppy taste I craved. As each of my (five) pregnancies went by, the alcohol-free options on the market didn’t change much. O’Doul’s never felt like a true replacement for my hoppy pilsners and IPAs and at the time there were zero nonalcoholic sparkling wines available—my true drink of choice.
I mention my love of sparkling wine here because after my fifth (and final) child was born it became a problem. While I had easily been able to stop drinking during pregnancy, sparkling wine eventually went from being a preference to a daily staple and became a huge issue in my life. A few years of alcohol misuse, some liver issues, a DUI, and a laundry list of other consequences later, I landed in AA and started the path to recovery on January 1, 2017.
One of the first things an AA sponsor taught me was that nonalcoholic beverages were BAD. While not everyone in the AA world believes this, it is a commonly held belief in 12-step groups. “You are glamorizing the drink! Glamorizing the beer, the wine, the glass, the ritual, and partaking in activities that were formerly associated with drinking alcohol!” she told me. I shrugged and resignedly accepted my fate. OK. I’ll drink Diet Coke with my steak, I guess. I’ll accept the kids’ beverage menu at restaurants, I suppose. I’ll bring sparkling water friggin’ everywhere. Fine.
Yet, it never sat right with me, and being a seeker and a scientist by training, I researched. I couldn’t find any data corroborating the idea that nonalcoholic beverages were anything other than a positive tool in recovery. After all, I wasn’t the one glamorizing drinking; society was. I wasn’t the one serving wine at yoga or prosecco at parents’ night. I wasn’t the one making goofy “Mom needs wine” t-shirts. But I did feel left out of some deeply engrained parts of our culture. I didn’t miss the alcohol, I missed having the rituals and a more grown-up-feeling drink with my steak. So I embraced another AA mantra, “Take what works, and leave the rest.” After several months of sticking to soda and water, I decided to take nonalcoholic beers and wines for a spin.
A caveat before you read on: If mocktails or NA beers are triggering for you, don’t drink them. Full stop.
The wonderful thing about recovery is that we each get to make our own path. It’s a personal decision, largely based on how these beverages make you feel, and I realize they aren’t everyone’s jam. If you’re reading this and feeling some sort of way or were taught differently, we’re going to talk about how the NA beverage world is still benefiting you and the greater good, so read on.
So what if I told you that the growth of nonalcoholic beverages in the marketplace is significant, even if you don’t personally drink them? Yes, the growing market of alcohol-free drinks is crucial, not just for us sober people, and not just for sober people who drink NA beverages, but for all people, including, as many of us refer to them, “normies.”
Remember 15 years ago, going to vegan or gluten-free restaurants? No? Me neither…. But now they are everywhere. Our grocery store shelves are stacked to the ceiling with vegan and gluten-free alternatives. This happens when people demand the products they need. Since my days of O’Doul’s, the nonalcoholic beverage industry has been booming. There are now breweries that brew only nonalcoholic beers and wineries that painstakingly remove alcohol from wines that are so similar to the real thing even I have to read the label twice! When you see me with a pint of beer at my local brewery, you can be confident it’s zero-proof, because nearly every brewery in my beer-centric town now brews their own nonalcoholic beers.
This shift is not happening because sober people want to ‘romanticize” the drink. It’s happening because the world finally realizes alcohol takes away from our lives instead of adding to them. More and more people want the taste and the ritual, minus the carcinogen. For those of us who don’t drink alcohol—whether we drink these beverages or not—this shift also means we are no longer living on the fringes like the vegans of yesteryear. It’s nice to be in the mainstream, and more options and awareness mean more and more people are choosing NA options over alcohol.
For me personally, it feels good to have the ritual back (minus the alcohol). I loved the taste of sparkling wine. I adored the crack of the cork, the fizz in a fancy glass, the burning taste down my throat. None of those things was inherently damaging or wrong. The troublesome part was the alcohol in the wine, which I became addicted to. I didn’t love that. I also didn’t love the loss of inhibition and intuition, and the consequences that followed. At this point in my journey, the fantastic sensory experience of the sparkling wine feels very separate from the alcohol which was a problem for me, which means I get to enjoy the parts I still love without drunk-texting something stupid or waking up with a hangover. I can bring over a fun bottle of something yummy to a get-together and drive home afterward with a clear head. I can show the people around me that you don’t have to feel deprived. In fact, you can feel empowered by having the best of both worlds. Is that glamorizing the drink? I believe it’s taking back the joy with none of the bullshit.
I know many “regular” people who have swapped out NA beer for their regular beer. They aren’t in recovery, they don’t have a “problem,” and they don’t attend AA meetings. They just like beer but they recognize that alcohol isn’t good for them and now they have options. Maybe they want to get up tomorrow and exercise without a hangover. Perhaps they are the designated driver and still crave the taste of beer. My husband drinks NA beer at home, and he is not a sober person. Yet, he is married to someone in recovery. He knows that anyone can become addicted to an addictive substance, so most of the time, he sticks to NA beverages for his health. The bonus: it’s something we can enjoy together.
Yes, I still believe drinking is glamorized in our culture. No question. If someone holds a wine or martini glass or a golden liquid in a pilsner glass, the glamorization is that we BELIEVE there is alcohol in it. This perception is shifting. I drink beer, I drink wine, but I don’t drink alcohol. Those things aren’t in opposition anymore. How fortunate I am to be able to go to an establishment to meet my friends, and have so many great options; to order a beer and have the bartender ask: “With alcohol or without?” We now get to choose and I think that’s a good thing.
Cheers, with whatever happens to be in your hand! ***
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Books by Emily Paulson
