Forming Authentic Relationships

The vulnerability that occurs within a safe community such as this one lends itself to the formation of real relationships. The security of being able to share your story without judgment is critical to personal growth in sobriety. One of the more incredible aspects of these retreats is how women—some who just met a day prior—are able to speak frankly and openly with minimal-to-no fear. It’s as if they’ve been friends for years. I hear women on these retreats commenting on how they’re not able to talk about their experiences in sobriety with some of their oldest friends but they can do so on the trail. The ability to have open conversations about your feelings, your struggles, and your “wins” with others who “get it” is essential.

Your Story is Someone Else’s Story Too

After the daily hike is complete and we rest our tired legs around the fire or soak in the hot tub, the conversation is easy and open. The support is palpable, and the familiarity is striking. As the conversation proceeds there are consistent head nods and “me-toos,” sighs of empathy, and giggles of understanding. Your story is uniquely your own and the details will be unique to you, but the general storylines tend to follow a similar path. As these women shared the details of their stories, many found they were not the only ones to have experienced these things and, more importantly, they found that they were not alone.

Confidently Owning Your Sobriety

My greatest fear in my early sobriety was the stigma associated with sobriety. As a health care provider I know firsthand that the stigma regarding addiction has not changed amongst the medical community. “What’s wrong with you?” “Why don’t you drink?” “Why can’t you drink?” This stigma and shame took a great degree of deep personal work and time to move through. I made a promise to myself that once I could own my own sobriety, I would help others to own theirs as well. That is exactly what has happened. Attendees have courageously gone public with their sobriety on their Instagram page during the retreats. Others have returned home and started recovering out loud within their families and their workplace. The ripple effect of being confident in their stories has been the greatest phenomenon that these women continue to experience long after the retreat is over. 

The Actualization of Fun

No matter your reasons for coming into sobriety, one thing is constant. There will be (and needs to be) a period of redefining and reestablishing what fun without alcohol means to you. Not having the social lubricant of alcohol creates tremendous social challenges in early sobriety. Socializing sober takes practice. Creating a space with a relaxed vibe sets the stage for people to be themselves, to let their guards down, and to have fun. No expectations. No stress. No set schedule. The deep belly laughter, lighthearted silliness, and witty inside jokes with tears running down faces have been the realization of my entire vision for my retreats. 

The success of the trail and the effects it brings to our participants is real. One woman with ten years of sobriety who had fallen away from socializing with others started mentoring again and organizing local sober meet-ups. Another woman started hosting her own weekend sober slumber parties after her experience on the retreat. The overriding powerful lesson from the hiking trail is simply women inspiring and supporting other women through emotional honesty, community building, owning their sobriety and their stories, forming authentic relationships, and having fun. The effects are contagious and far reaching. We just need to be brave enough to experience it.      ***