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As a person who found sobriety on a May day several years after my first Dry January attempt, I never saw Dry January as a foray into longer-term sobriety. While the concept is a positive one, for me, the “challenge” aspect of Dry January created an unintended and false sense of validation. Both times I tried it I successfully made it through the month without an issue thereby “proving” to myself (wrongly) that my drinking “wasn’t that problematic.” If I could go that long without booze, surely that meant I wasn’t an alcoholic, right? After patting myself on the back and deciding that I now had a better grip on my alcohol use, I’d promptly go to the bar and get shitfaced on February 1st.
In some ways, I deserved those pats on the back. After all, I made it through the toughest part of getting sober—the first 31 days—twice. My Dry January experiences turned out to be some really helpful practice for when I was ready to finally make a serious, long-term attempt. However, I ultimately learned that 31 days is not nearly enough time for a person to truly evaluate their relationship with alcohol. When I finally did get sober, it wasn’t until the 90-day mark, and beyond, that I started reaping the real benefits.
Of course, not everyone who attempts Dry January is seeking to curb or re-evaluate problematic drinking, but as a growing number of sober-curious people participate in the challenge, it might be worth asking: If you’re truly curious, why not see what a sober life looks like beyond the one-month mark? As I discovered from my own experience, echoed by the people I talked to on the next few pages, the worst that could happen is you might accidentally stop drinking for good…
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Gina Lawrence, self-proclaimed “Wandering Witch Professor,” says, “[Before getting sober] I thought the purpose of Dry January was just to give your liver a break so you could keep drinking the rest of the year. My intention was not to create long-lasting sobriety. My plan was to ‘detox-to-retox,’ not quit forever.”
Gina had made a handful of attempts at Dry January but had never made it past the first two weeks. As a craft beer aficionado, she thought of drinking as part of her personality. After a few weeks’ break, she would happily go back to the brewery, and, as she puts it, back to “being herself.” But one year, a conversation with a friend made her reconsider the role alcohol was playing in her life.
“[My friend Maria] was doing Sober October. And I was like, ‘It’s pumpkin beer season! Are you crazy? This is the best time to drink!’ And Maria said ‘Gina, you’re so cool, smart, and talented. If you quit drinking, you would have superpowers.” With a PhD and a successful entrepreneurial career Gina was doing great. “But I was what people refer to as a ‘high-functioning alcoholic’,” she says. “I just had no clue. My best friend basically said ‘Gina, you’re an alcoholic,’ without saying those words. It made me think.”
Gina tried to make light of the conversation but she says, “Twenty-three days into Dry January that winter, I heard a voice that asked ‘Do you know who you are?’ and at that moment I realized I was an alcoholic.”
Gina stayed tuned in to that inner voice to protect her sobriety. She knew she didn’t want to drink anymore and with the end of January fast approaching, she was about to enter uncharted territory. Specifically, she would no longer be able to use Dry January as an excuse for not drinking. On January 31st her then-wife suggested they have a drink to celebrate making it to the end of the month. Gina deflected saying she wanted to go one more week. She continued like this until February 24th—her wife’s birthday—when Gina had to confess that she wanted to continue with her sobriety. “She was so upset,” Gina remembers. “She was like, ‘Beer is our thing. Our wedding was beer-themed.’” I said, “I know, but I’m feeling really good right now and I can’t drink anymore.”
Over time Gina’s social circle started to shift. She found herself deepening relationships with supportive friends who were nondrinkers or had also found sobriety. She found new hobbies and rediscovered old ones. In June, she fully embraced her new sober lifestyle on a family trip to Hawaii. “I went to a tropical paradise and didn’t drink and it was like, ‘Oh, my God, I can wake up early and go do whatever I want. I can practice yoga on this rooftop in the jungle as the sun rises and I’m not hungover.’”
•••
Similar to Gina’s story, sober influencer Rachel Hechtman also had no intention of exploring longer-term sobriety when she attempted her first Dry January in 2021. “I didn’t want to stop drinking or get sober. I wasn’t trying to be healthy. I just wanted to keep drinking the way I was drinking and somehow also stop feeling like crap all the time.”
Rachel says she tried Dry January because she thought it would be a way to lose the weight she’d gained during COVID and look her best for her sister’s wedding. The month got off to a less-than-auspicious start. After partying on New Year’s Eve, she continued drinking on New Year’s Day, then again the next day. She woke up on January 3rd with a severe hangover and decided to try to stay sober until the end of the month. It turned out to be a lot longer than that.
When I asked Rachel if she had an “aha moment” about her drinking she told me that we’d have to backtrack a bit. “In June 2020 I was drinking alone at my mom’s lake house—because that’s what I used to do. It was a beautiful day and I saw a man jogging by the house. I remember thinking ‘Oh, what a loser, jogging on such a nice day,’ and suddenly I heard this voice in my head that I’d never heard before. It said, ‘He’s not the loser. You’re the loser.’”
This experience led Rachel to ask herself some serious questions about how to get out of the cycle she was stuck in and better herself. She realized that leading a productive, happy, healthy life probably didn’t include drinking whiskey until she passed out on her couch every night. Rachel began dabbling in mini-periods of sobriety—one day here, three days there. “I wasn’t trying to stop, I was just trying to see how long I could go and whether I would experience withdrawal or any other physical symptoms. So I had kind of been working my way up to Dry January, testing it out. I didn’t know how it would go and I was scared.”
“[Dry January] is actually an amazing time to start because you can use it as an excuse with your friends and family, who might not get what you’re doing.” Rachel says. “By the time the month is over, you’ll have 31 days under your belt and will feel differently than you did at the beginning in terms of how to have conversations about pursuing sobriety.”
During that first Dry January Rachel kept her attempt at sobriety quiet, even while posting about her day-to-day life on social media. When February rolled around, she found it helpful to just tell friends that she was trying to see how long she could go—not that she was planning on staying sober.
Rachel experienced some incredible changes during that time. She lost the weight she’d set out to lose, and looked and felt better mentally and physically. When she finally decided to post about her journey on her social media account, she was pleasantly surprised to be met with support. “I got really amazing responses, ranging from ‘I’m sober too—let me know if you ever want to talk!’ to ‘When we studied abroad together, I thought you were going to die. I’m really happy, you’re sober.’”
Rachel eventually decided to delete her old Instagram account—where she’d previously posted about her binge drinking and partying—and started documenting her sobriety journey on a new account, Sober In Central Park, where you can find her today. Rachel also now offers sober life coaching and is part of the team launching Soft Bar, a nonalcoholic bar and café opening in Brooklyn in 2025.
As a sober life coach, Rachel asks clients to commit to a minimum of three months because she knows that’s when the changes start to happen. “Around the 100-day mark, I feel like magic comes into your life,” Rachel explains. “I don’t know how else to describe it. Things just started lining up and working out for me. I was trying to manifest things. I was trying to talk to the universe. And then things got really easy. You’re not really giving yourself a full chance to see what a sober life is like if you only do one month. I think it takes at least 100 days to form new habits, patterns, and relationships, and see them all in a totally different way.”
•••
Similar to Gina’s story, sober influencer Rachel Hechtman also had no intention of exploring longer-term sobriety when she attempted her first Dry January in 2021. “I didn’t want to stop drinking or get sober. I wasn’t trying to be healthy. I just wanted to keep drinking the way I was drinking and somehow also stop feeling like crap all the time.”
Rachel says she tried Dry January because she thought it would be a way to lose the weight she’d gained during COVID and look her best for her sister’s wedding. The month got off to a less-than-auspicious start. After partying on New Year’s Eve, she continued drinking on New Year’s Day, then again the next day. She woke up on January 3rd with a severe hangover and decided to try to stay sober until the end of the month. It turned out to be a lot longer than that.
When I asked Rachel if she had an “aha moment” about her drinking she told me that we’d have to backtrack a bit. “In June 2020 I was drinking alone at my mom’s lake house—because that’s what I used to do. It was a beautiful day and I saw a man jogging by the house. I remember thinking ‘Oh, what a loser, jogging on such a nice day,’ and suddenly I heard this voice in my head that I’d never heard before. It said, ‘He’s not the loser. You’re the loser.’”
This experience led Rachel to ask herself some serious questions about how to get out of the cycle she was stuck in and better herself. She realized that leading a productive, happy, healthy life probably didn’t include drinking whiskey until she passed out on her couch every night. Rachel began dabbling in mini-periods of sobriety—one day here, three days there. “I wasn’t trying to stop, I was just trying to see how long I could go and whether I would experience withdrawal or any other physical symptoms. So I had kind of been working my way up to Dry January, testing it out. I didn’t know how it would go and I was scared.”
“[Dry January] is actually an amazing time to start because you can use it as an excuse with your friends and family, who might not get what you’re doing.” Rachel says. “By the time the month is over, you’ll have 31 days under your belt and will feel differently than you did at the beginning in terms of how to have conversations about pursuing sobriety.”
During that first Dry January Rachel kept her attempt at sobriety quiet, even while posting about her day-to-day life on social media. When February rolled around, she found it helpful to just tell friends that she was trying to see how long she could go—not that she was planning on staying sober.
Rachel experienced some incredible changes during that time. She lost the weight she’d set out to lose, and looked and felt better mentally and physically. When she finally decided to post about her journey on her social media account, she was pleasantly surprised to be met with support. “I got really amazing responses, ranging from ‘I’m sober too—let me know if you ever want to talk!’ to ‘When we studied abroad together, I thought you were going to die. I’m really happy, you’re sober.’”
Rachel eventually decided to delete her old Instagram account—where she’d previously posted about her binge drinking and partying—and started documenting her sobriety journey on a new account, Sober In Central Park, where you can find her today. Rachel also now offers sober life coaching and is part of the team launching Soft Bar, a nonalcoholic bar and café opening in Brooklyn in 2025.
As a sober life coach, Rachel asks clients to commit to a minimum of three months because she knows that’s when the changes start to happen. “Around the 100-day mark, I feel like magic comes into your life,” Rachel explains. “I don’t know how else to describe it. Things just started lining up and working out for me. I was trying to manifest things. I was trying to talk to the universe. And then things got really easy. You’re not really giving yourself a full chance to see what a sober life is like if you only do one month. I think it takes at least 100 days to form new habits, patterns, and relationships, and see them all in a totally different way.”
•••
Looking back on my journey I am thankful for my Dry January experience and even more so for the lasting sobriety that happened afterwards. As you make your foray into temporary sobriety this January, perhaps it’s time to examine what life could look like beyond the month-long challenge.***
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