Here’s my hot take for the season: The process of “glowing up” is a deliberate, lifelong endeavor, and YOU are an active participant in making it happen. I think of glowing up as the process of becoming the person you want to be. Taking charge of that process brings “her” out of the abstract and places her concretely into the realm of possibilities.
I’ve discovered there are a few secrets to making the magic work:
1. Believe you are worthy.
Whether it’s your appearance, your surroundings, your business, your mind, or whatever it is that feels like the next level of your “best self,” the first step toward having it is believing you are worthy of the result. Worthiness is a muscle, and every time you settle for less you’re letting it atrophy. Decide that you are worthy of what you want and believe it.
2. Release shame around the past (and present).
One important thing about having a magazine called AFTER is that we don’t shame the “before.” The “before” is the person who brought you here, ready to move forward. The person you were “before” faced the challenges and had the strength to decide enough was enough. She was the one willing to ask for change. Congratulate her on a job well done. Let her know she’s safe, and assure her you’ll be carrying the two of you into the next phase. Wanting to improve doesn’t imply you’re not good enough now. Banish that thought forever. No shame, only love.
3. Choose one thing.
I’ve discovered that doing one thing that makes you feel good every day snowballs into a life where you actually feel GOOD. One little thing, plus another, plus another, consistently over time, adds up—and keeps you from getting overwhelmed by a list of all of your supposed “shortcomings.” There is no prescribed timeline. Just start allowing yourself to feel good, every day.
This fall, our writers and contributors share the ways they’ve taken the next step forward on their own paths. Financial advisor and author Greg Downs examines the money habits that make room for an underlying sense of peace [“Gray-Area Spending,” p14]. Heather Lowe teaches how to let yourself feel your feelings—in my experience the fastest way to get in touch with what you really want [“How to Feel Your Feelings,” p16]. Sydney Allen discusses how she created a new culture around alcohol in her home [“Talking to Your Kids About Alcohol,” p18]. In our feature interview, Laura Silverman shares the steps she took to build her physical, emotional, and mental strength after quitting drinking, enabling her to create a life of community and leadership in the alcohol-free space [“Laura Silverman,” p20]. In the Wellness Set, we learn about five inspiring resorts that remind us to ask for the best for ourselves, like inclusive, gorgeous, alcohol-free spaces to rest and recharge [“The Wellness Set,” p28].
This season I’m choosing a few small things to work on consistently. Once those become habits, I’ll add more. For me, this means going to the gym at 8AM every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday (writing it here for extra accountability), and reading a few pages every night no matter what.
What steps can you take toward becoming the person you want to be? How can you love your past self and bring her into this new season of allowing? Most of all, how can you have fun in the process?
Choose one small thing that makes you feel your best, and I’ll meet you on the path to our best selves!
XO, Nicole Pietrandrea Hough
