There was a time when I was still drinking—but starting to identify as sober-curious—that I felt particularly alone and confused about my gray-area drinking. The constant back and forth in my head—an endless two-sided debate—was becoming a maddening Ground Hog Day scenario: “You deserve a drink, you’ve earned it.” vs. “This isn’t serving you. This isn’t a reward. What are you doing?” Around and around the daily battle went while I was silently suffering on the inside. I was baffled because everyone around me, including my therapist at the time, seemed quite sure that I didn’t have a drinking problem. The thing is, deep inside I knew that I was sick, and I was tired of fighting with myself every day.

In November 2019, I finally listened to the inner voice pleading with me to do something about my toxic relationship with alcohol. Over time, I realized that that voice was my inner knowing, or intuition, guiding me back to the truth. Alcohol had dimmed and corroded the connection to that little voice and my ability to trust her. As time progressed in my alcohol-free journey, bit by bit I began to listen and tune in more instinctively to this voice and trust where my inner wisdom was leading me. 

Once I started to feel that glimmer of connection I wanted more.